"Não te esqueças de quem tu és". É o que me têm dito ultimamente. É o que se diz a alguém que largou tudo para se achar e perdeu-se nos encantos de uma rapariga. Como é que não se esquece de nós próprios quando amamos alguém? Que mãe não se esquece de si própria quando ama um filho?
Mas como posso eu amar se não sou eu, se não sigo os meus sonhos? Também andava a adiar prosseguir o meu caminho na vida que tinha e sentia-me miserável. Como é que me sinto agora? Ando a perseguir o amor. E o amor próprio? Como se vive ou se ama sem amor próprio?
Quando e como é que me senti em pleno? Quando perseguia o meu caminho acompanhado de alguém para amar, para partilhar esse caminho. Mas quando ambos prosseguem o seu caminho em viagem é difícil estar-se junto e sincronizados com o mesmo caminho. É difícil que a atracção pelo outro não interfira no caminho. Cada caminho hoje em dia é tão específico e as possibilidades são tantas que os momentos a partilhar se reduzem a tão curtos espaços de tempo. É esta a razão da extinção das relações longas de hoje em dia? As cedências são cada vez menos. Os sacrifícios quase inexistentes ou muito dolorosos. Temos de ser mais pacientes.
Os meus sonhos continuam aqui dentro. Tenho vontade de aprender línguas, fazer música, visitar sítios longínquos, dar o meu contributo humano e partilhar o meu conhecimento a quem se sinta grato de o receber. Fazer o bem. Mas, por agora, estão à espera da procura exterior que enfrento neste momento. Uma procura que me pode não levar a nada. Levar-me apenas a enterrar estes desejos ainda mais dentro de mim. Muita gente, ultimamente, me tem dito que sou uma pessoa boa, que mereço o bem. Que sou capaz de conseguir o que desejo com amor e bom coração. Mas como concilio as duas procuras? Está-me a ser muito difícil. Toda a gente me pede para ser mais egoísta. Para seguir o meu caminho. Eu percebo que é a única forma de me encontrar. De estar bem. Mas é me difícil aceitar que é esta a única forma de avançar, individualista, que tanto observo no exterior e critico. Esta forma de viver, passageira e desligada dos outros.
"Don't forget who you are." It's what people have been telling me lately. It's what you say to someone who left everything behind to find himself and got lost in the charms of a girl. How do we not forget ourselves when we love someone? Which mother doesn't forget herself when she loves a child?
But how can I love if not I'm not myself, if I don't follow my dreams? I was also delaying to follow my path in my previous life and I was feeling miserable. How do I feel now? I'm pursuing love. And the self-love? How do we live or love without self-love?
When and how did I feel in full? When I was chasing my path accompanied by someone to love, to share this way. But when both pursue their own path is difficult to be together and synchronized with the same journey. It is difficult that the other's attraction doesn't interfere in the path. Each path today is so specific and choices are so many that the moments to share are reduced to such short periods of time. Is this the reason for the extinction of the long relationships nowadays? Giving way happens less and less. The sacrifices are almost non-existent or very painful. We have to be more patient.
My dreams are still here inside. I want to learn languages, making music, visit faraway places, give my human contribution and share my knowledge to those who feel grateful to receive it. To do good. But for now, they are waiting for this outside search that I face right now. A search that can lead me to nowhere. Lead me to just bury these desires even more within me. A lot of people lately have told me I'm a good person, that I deserve good. I am able to get what I desire with love and good heart. But how do I conciliate the two searches? It's being very difficult. Everyone asks me to be more selfish. To follow my way. I realize it's the only way to find myself. Of being well. But it is difficult for me to accept that this is the only way to move forward, individualist, that I watch so often around and criticize. This way of living, passing and disconnected from others.
"Don't forget who you are." It's what people have been telling me lately. It's what you say to someone who left everything behind to find himself and got lost in the charms of a girl. How do we not forget ourselves when we love someone? Which mother doesn't forget herself when she loves a child?
But how can I love if not I'm not myself, if I don't follow my dreams? I was also delaying to follow my path in my previous life and I was feeling miserable. How do I feel now? I'm pursuing love. And the self-love? How do we live or love without self-love?
When and how did I feel in full? When I was chasing my path accompanied by someone to love, to share this way. But when both pursue their own path is difficult to be together and synchronized with the same journey. It is difficult that the other's attraction doesn't interfere in the path. Each path today is so specific and choices are so many that the moments to share are reduced to such short periods of time. Is this the reason for the extinction of the long relationships nowadays? Giving way happens less and less. The sacrifices are almost non-existent or very painful. We have to be more patient.
My dreams are still here inside. I want to learn languages, making music, visit faraway places, give my human contribution and share my knowledge to those who feel grateful to receive it. To do good. But for now, they are waiting for this outside search that I face right now. A search that can lead me to nowhere. Lead me to just bury these desires even more within me. A lot of people lately have told me I'm a good person, that I deserve good. I am able to get what I desire with love and good heart. But how do I conciliate the two searches? It's being very difficult. Everyone asks me to be more selfish. To follow my way. I realize it's the only way to find myself. Of being well. But it is difficult for me to accept that this is the only way to move forward, individualist, that I watch so often around and criticize. This way of living, passing and disconnected from others.
Sem comentários:
Enviar um comentário